I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize