I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
