Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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