he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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