hotel room ftw
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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