I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
