i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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