Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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