I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
