another moral hangover. fuck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
