how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
