so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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