Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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