this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
