STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
