Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
