He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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