Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
