alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
