1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
