your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
