this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize