he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
