You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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