so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
