I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize