I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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