you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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