You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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