There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
