That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How external is "for external use only"?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
