for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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