Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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