Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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