If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you remember whose house we're in?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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