Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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