idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
