dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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