It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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