If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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