Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
