oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
