girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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