dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
