shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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