And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
