I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
