all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The Olympian is in my bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
