just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
