i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
