We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
