There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
