She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
