he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
