yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize