it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have post one night stand depression
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
