What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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