when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
