i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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