Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
