So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm going to jail i love you
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
