it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
