Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
